Yes, I am still young and hip.

Last month, we bought a minivan. Ok, it is not as pimpin' cool as the one pictured, but I love it. This is coming from someone who swore I would never buy an SUV/van/gas guzzler of any variety.

But I got really sick of having no trunk space because the double stroller and diaper bag took up all the room. And every time we needed something from Home Depot (which is way too often), we had to rent one of their trucks. And also, the new ones are pretty.

So we did it. We bought a newish one. The turning radius is awesome. The ride is smooth. The sound system is actually decent. It smells good. And I just like it.

What I did not expect was the reaction from Everyone In The World. Let's evaluate.

Neighbor #1: I love your new van. I wish my husband would let me buy one like that.
Daycare parent #1: I love your van!!!! I wish my hubby would let me get one!!!
Friend #1: Nice van. I wish my husband would let us get one.
Neighbor #2: You gotta new van, huh? Now you are really part of the Middle Class. (WTF?)
Neighbor #2 (different day, incredulously): So you really like that van, huh?
Daycare parent #2: My wife loves your van. She wishes I would let her get one.

None of the above quotes are exaggerations. Not one.

All of this is making us feel a little defensive. Jerry's response to one neighbor was that he had no idea it would be so "emasculating," (said sarcastically, as in, "I used to be a man but this material object essentially cut my balls of. Wish I would have known.")

Everytime we drive in it, we giddily announce to each other that those who don't have vans, yet have more than one child, and think vans are lame, just don't get it. Fuck 'em.

Which brings me to today.

I had to go to the DMV to get new plates for said van. I came prepared with a double stroller with the boys nicely strapped in, some toys, juice boxes, even. We waited in line, gave the lady some paperwork, waited patiently, paid the obnoxious fee of $600, received the plates, walked out. Once in the car, I look. No, it can't be. It truly cannot be.

405 OLD

I drive kids home, put them down for naps, pace floor, make a few phone calls.
Three hours later, I put down an extra $66 to buy fucking "designer" plates, which just means there's a lame mountain view involved, but at least now we are:

364 OCD.



Blogger Kyla said...

Hahahaha!! That's too funny!!! Do you think they have given 405 people plates with the ending "OLD" and that 364 of them have wanted them changed, thus earning the "OCD" title?

I wish we could get a van, but my husband's reason isn't the chemical castration they eveidently give as a package deal when you purchase one, its the fact that all our vehicles are paid off and we'd have to take on payment if we got one. So it will have to wait a bit.

6:57 AM  
Blogger dodo said...

we justified our getting one (with only the one child) by telling ourselves and everyone else who raised an eyebrow that it's the only way we can fit all our camping gear in . .

on subject of swanky plates, we live near a famous racecourse that has just finished it's swankiest week of races. I was amazed at the number of personalised plates that appeared in town - all stuff to do with betting and winnng - i even saw a few stretch hummers, which was a real first for me (not sure what the statistically inevitable losers have on their tags?)

12:46 PM  
Anonymous Cristina said...

That's hilarious. I like your choice of license plates. OCD is certainly better than OLD.

And hey, if it makes you feel any better, my husband is pressuring ME to get a mini-van. He thinks they're totally cool.

8:01 PM  

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