A turn of events.
Let's review the last six months of daycare politics with Mikey, Charlie's best friend.
* For one year, Mikey comes to me, forms very strong friendship with Charlie.
* Mikey's mom becomes pregnant.
* Toward the very end of Mom's pregnancy, Mom announces that, due to financial reasons, Mikey cannot stay with me during her maternity leave. Her leave is unpaid, so she cannot pay me.
* I stress out quite severely. I tell her she must pay me at least half his tuition if she wants me to hold his spot. In return, I will watch him half-time.
* She can't do it. No money. So she is going to pay me for one day per week only. I accept it, but with the agreement that his spot is not held. I get a call from another boy his same age, tell Mom about him, and her immediate response is, "I can come up with the money. No worries. We really need you. We cannot lose you."
In spite of her compromise with me, I am only receiving half tuition, and the total loss for me amounts to $800. Over Christmastime.
I keep quiet about it because I want Mikey to return. He is more than just Charlie's buddy. He is very intelligent, leads the other kids in creative games, somehow motivates the kids to stay in circle time. His intelligence is contagious.
In the meantime, I stress out about the fact that when he returns, his baby sister will come too. This means...
* I will be "over" on my numbers.
* If I receive a surprise inspection, I am busted.
* My care to the other kids, including my own, will probably be compromised.
* My liability insurance may not cover me if something were to happen.
I realize that I simply cannot be over on my numbers. So I try to decide which child to let go. Many pro/con lists are created. Daycare children are scrutinized for compatability factors. Fellow daycare provider friends are consulted. Head banging ensues. Online advice read feverishly.
If I tell Mikey's mom I cannot accept her baby, I surely will lose Mikey too. And I admit to myself that he is my favorite. And tied for second place are all the rest. I decide to wait and see.
In the meantime, I hire a manny. He is fabulous. He will work only during the times that I am over. In some ways, it might be easier for me to be over, because it allows me to hire him.
I have two test-runs with manny. His fabulousness is further confirmed.
I start to do math. Even after paying manny, I will be bringing in enough extra money to upgrade our old car to a newer van, I will start contributing to an IRA, we have cell phones again, and I can build up the savings account that I depleted during Mom's maternity leave. And, when I need a new pair of jeans, I will not feel guilty for buying them. Yes, things will be good.
Fast forward to this week. Daycare mom and I talk about Mikey and Charlie being in the same preschool class this coming September. It will only be two days per week, 4 hours per day. I suddenly realize by the way she is talking that she expects a rate reduction.
I tell her I don't do part-time rates. I mean, really, what are the chances that someone will call me and need care for Monday and Wednesday from 9am-12pm? Zilch. And why should I have to take an income hit because she chose preschool? Or, getting to the heart of the matter, why should I take an income hit because she now has two kids and doesn't think two should cost more than one? I won't. A lot of people don't take part-time kids, and I don't either.
Today she says, rather casually, that come September, she is looking at other options. Like maybe a nanny.
I am an idiot. I went through all this, and in 6 months she will pull her two kids, leaving me not one, but two spots to fill?
I am angry. I am so, so angry. Obviously, when I agreed to lose $800, I did it with the expectation that her children would be more long-term.
And obviously I can't require her to sign a long-term, I-will-be-with-you-forever-amen contract.
So if she is looking out for herself, then I must do the same. And I have thought of talking to her, but honestly, I feel I can't trust her anymore. This is the second time that a threat was made by her and later rescinded. I cannot keep her two kids and wait, nervously, for her to give me notice. Her spot's been advertised.
Let's review the last six months of daycare politics with Mikey, Charlie's best friend.
* For one year, Mikey comes to me, forms very strong friendship with Charlie.
* Mikey's mom becomes pregnant.
* Toward the very end of Mom's pregnancy, Mom announces that, due to financial reasons, Mikey cannot stay with me during her maternity leave. Her leave is unpaid, so she cannot pay me.
* I stress out quite severely. I tell her she must pay me at least half his tuition if she wants me to hold his spot. In return, I will watch him half-time.
* She can't do it. No money. So she is going to pay me for one day per week only. I accept it, but with the agreement that his spot is not held. I get a call from another boy his same age, tell Mom about him, and her immediate response is, "I can come up with the money. No worries. We really need you. We cannot lose you."
In spite of her compromise with me, I am only receiving half tuition, and the total loss for me amounts to $800. Over Christmastime.
I keep quiet about it because I want Mikey to return. He is more than just Charlie's buddy. He is very intelligent, leads the other kids in creative games, somehow motivates the kids to stay in circle time. His intelligence is contagious.
In the meantime, I stress out about the fact that when he returns, his baby sister will come too. This means...
* I will be "over" on my numbers.
* If I receive a surprise inspection, I am busted.
* My care to the other kids, including my own, will probably be compromised.
* My liability insurance may not cover me if something were to happen.
I realize that I simply cannot be over on my numbers. So I try to decide which child to let go. Many pro/con lists are created. Daycare children are scrutinized for compatability factors. Fellow daycare provider friends are consulted. Head banging ensues. Online advice read feverishly.
If I tell Mikey's mom I cannot accept her baby, I surely will lose Mikey too. And I admit to myself that he is my favorite. And tied for second place are all the rest. I decide to wait and see.
In the meantime, I hire a manny. He is fabulous. He will work only during the times that I am over. In some ways, it might be easier for me to be over, because it allows me to hire him.
I have two test-runs with manny. His fabulousness is further confirmed.
I start to do math. Even after paying manny, I will be bringing in enough extra money to upgrade our old car to a newer van, I will start contributing to an IRA, we have cell phones again, and I can build up the savings account that I depleted during Mom's maternity leave. And, when I need a new pair of jeans, I will not feel guilty for buying them. Yes, things will be good.
Fast forward to this week. Daycare mom and I talk about Mikey and Charlie being in the same preschool class this coming September. It will only be two days per week, 4 hours per day. I suddenly realize by the way she is talking that she expects a rate reduction.
I tell her I don't do part-time rates. I mean, really, what are the chances that someone will call me and need care for Monday and Wednesday from 9am-12pm? Zilch. And why should I have to take an income hit because she chose preschool? Or, getting to the heart of the matter, why should I take an income hit because she now has two kids and doesn't think two should cost more than one? I won't. A lot of people don't take part-time kids, and I don't either.
Today she says, rather casually, that come September, she is looking at other options. Like maybe a nanny.
I am an idiot. I went through all this, and in 6 months she will pull her two kids, leaving me not one, but two spots to fill?
I am angry. I am so, so angry. Obviously, when I agreed to lose $800, I did it with the expectation that her children would be more long-term.
And obviously I can't require her to sign a long-term, I-will-be-with-you-forever-amen contract.
So if she is looking out for herself, then I must do the same. And I have thought of talking to her, but honestly, I feel I can't trust her anymore. This is the second time that a threat was made by her and later rescinded. I cannot keep her two kids and wait, nervously, for her to give me notice. Her spot's been advertised.
Labels: childcare, crazymaking
posted by Andrea at 8:05 PM
4 Comments:
grrrrrr how frustrating! I wish you could take mine - she's very good at circle time, so they tell me.
Ugh. That is awful...maybe once she looks into nanny's a discovers that they as considerably more expensive (I am assuming that one on one care is more expensive than a group setting) she might reconsider? But she seems to be wishy-washy over all, and that is not comforting when your livelihood is dependent on her decision making abilities.
dodo - can you fly to CO daily? :)
kyla - i have no idea how much nannies cost around here, but i had the same thought! also, with a nanny, Mikey will not get that group interaction which she claims to appreciate so much. honestly, i think she is trying to test me. or threaten me, depending on which word you want to use.
i TOTALLY agree on the wishy-washy thing, which is why i chose to advertise the spot instead of talk to her. if we talk, she will just tell me what i want to hear, but i still cannot trust her.
Yes, wise decision. She wants you there as a back-up, should her lastest whim not work out so well...and she'll do what it takes to keep you on stand-by. It is not fair to you...even though you love Mikey so.
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