Would you hire a manny?
A couple months ago, I finally brought on my sixth child, making my daycare legally "full." Now one of my daycare kids has a new little baby sister, and she will be joining our daycare in a few months. That will put me over on my numbers.

I have stressed about this for some time. I don't want to let anyone go. I like all of my daycare kids and their parents. But I don't want to have so many kids that I am frazzled and snap at the children. I want things to still be fun and for us to have circle time without total chaos.

So I must hire a helper.

Awhile back, I posted in my Want Ads, and all the replies I received were from mothers wanting to bring their kids along. Sure, they could change other kids' diapers, but they would also have their own kid in toe. One even went so far as to say, "I must warn you, my daughter is very clingy and needs to be held most of the time. I demand that she never be away from me."

Um, seriously? And I am going to pay you for that?

So I posted another Want Ad, making it clear that a daycare helper could not bring along their child. My goal, after all, is to improve my adult/child ratio. Also, I couldn't afford much, so I hoped for a college student.

I received a reply from such a college student: nineteen years old, had five little sisters whom he helped raise, loved children, was available when I needed him, was excited by the wage I could offer. We made an appointment to meet in person. He was humble, shy, sweet. He came over one day to meet the kids, and they flocked around him like he was a S'more. He threw footballs to three of the kids at once, and they practially fought over him.

Then my mom and dad, who were in town at the time, weighed in on this. I could not hire a male, they said.
"Why would a nineteen year old man want to work with children?" My dad asked.
Later, he rephrased the question, but asked it again.
And again.
"Um, dads like working with children, and they are men. Why wouldn't a man like to work with kids?" I asked.
Then my mom agreed, and my husband too.

My mom reminded me that statistically, men are more likely than women to sexually abuse a child. And besides, it was a little odd that a guy would want to work with children, I heard for the twentieth time. And while I know I can do an FBI check, those only reveal crimes that have already been committed and prosecuted, not unknown ones.

And a little nugget of doubt was planted in my brain. And I began to imagine what it would feel like if something were to happen to these kids who I am responsible for. I argued that this helper would never be alone with the kids; he would work next to me as an extra set of hands.

"Yeah," my mom said, "but be realistic. You know that at some point, he will be alone with them." And I knew she was right. I would have to run the baby upstairs, or go pee, or put someone into a time out. You just never know.

The most important thing to me is ensuring these kids are safe -- my own, and others who trust me with theirs. But I feel extremely sexist. What would you do?