Potty Training.
I give up.

On Charlie's 3rd Birthday, I was gloating that he was so potty trained. He kept his big boy Thomas pants dry all day, peed without having to think about it, went without having to be reminded, even put his own pants back on. The only time he ever had an accident was every third or fourth day when he had to poop.

I felt this was no big deal. However, part of mastering the first part of potty training was his feeling of pride in the dry pants; he then fully understood that poop could not ever go in there, either. But at the same time, he had this intense fear of pooping on the potty. His solution? No pooping.

We would have long, drawn out discussions about this.
Me: Charlie, you have to poop.
Him: No, poop stay in my tummy.
Me: No, it will hurt if you do that. You need to poop in the potty, or you can even ask for a pull-up. Here.
Him: Nooooo.... I go poop in the potty when I am big. Big like you.

Let me back up by saying that for the last three months, we have alternated between bouts of extreme constipation, and watery poopiness from the prune juice I sneak into his food. The watery poopiness which results in Thomas pants getting defiled, me quietly cursing at the cleanup, him feeling even more ashamed and vowing to never poop again, me sick of the smell of bleach.

Let me clarify that I did not purposefully shame him. I talked to him about how normal poop is. I read him books like, "Everyone Poops." I let him watch me poop. I pretend-sit with him on the pot while we pretend to push out poop together, me cheering him on. When he goes in his pants, I say things like, "That's Ok, we'll make it next time." When he looks stressed that he needs to poop, I tell him, "That's OK. Do what you need to do."

But now that he has crossed the line and understands what does and does not belong in his pants, there is no turning back.

So I moved him permanently into pull-ups. Then he can poop in them, not withhold, and I don't have to scrub poop out of cotton. The problem? He re-learned the convenience of peeing in his pants. Lo and behold, he is no longer potty trained.

So I've decided that I officially give up. Let him revert back to his two's. At this rate and with his expert fine motor skills, I will teach him how to change his own diapers. Yes, that's it. He can go in his pants all he wants, and then change himself when he is through.

Anyone have any other ideas, let me know.