11.09.2006

Passing on the love
I have a friend who is both a known and an unknown. I can tell her most anything, trust that she will accept me, and feel that comfortable similarity you get from a good friend. But at the same time, she is a puzzle who I am still trying to unlock and figure out. I don't think I will get bored anytime soon.

When I first met her in 2000, we both worked at a HMO in Seattle, affectionately called Group Death. There were about five of us administrative assistants all in our early- to mid-twenties, working only to pay bills and have people to drink with afterwards. One of the first times I saw her, I was fascinated by her very independent sense of style which I did not fully understand, and her commitment to veganism, which was the completion of my half-ass attempt to save the animals as a mere vegetarian.

I think I was the one who asked her out to lunch first. Our first outing at the Green Cat was sorta like an awkward first date. There was more than one uneasy silence and forced giggle. I believe I threw out a few questions like, “So, what's your sign?” and “Have I seen you here before?"

But over the weeks and months, the group of us went out for many drinks—mostly at the Cha Cha Lounge. And we discovered our shared love/obsession for food – eating wonderful things like vegetarian burritos at Bimbo's and possessing an insane obsession with Thai food, requiring lengthy email discussions on work time. And although I did not mean for this to be a post about food or the Seattle scene, no post about Karen would be complete without those things.

I realized how much I liked her when we talked about one of our fellow workmates, Ben. Ben was a pretend surfer who talked about things like sake and beer and Thailand like he was all knowledgeable and stuff, and really, he had no idea what he was talking about. She immediately saw through his bullshit. But at the same time, while I was agitated about how he got under my skin, he had zero effect on her.

And when office politics set in, I would get hurt by someone's perceived criticism of me, and she would laugh and move on.

More importantly, I've always admired her never-wavering commitment to respecting animals' dignity and lives, but without preaching about it. She has never told me in more than a few words why she is a vegan, never complained about meat eaters, never regurgitated the vegan philosophy. Yet I somehow know this is something she feels strongly about. She's like that with lots of things. Passionate without the preaching.

The shyness that we both had on our first, um, friendship outing, occurred because of our similarities. I think we did discuss once the fact that we are both INFJs, a small sect of people who like to spend lots of time alone, write, have meaningful relationships, do meaningful work, employ sensitive B.S. detectors, and talk about the fact that we are INFJs (or at least I do. I think she was mostly shining me on). Interestingly, I also share this personality disorder with Mommy off the Record -- interesting because it afflicts only 2% of the population.

And I like the way she writes. Instead of telling what happened, she describes the scene or feeling in a way that causes the reader to come to their own conclusions. Plus, she had a friendship with a teacher who professed his passion or something to her, which is pretty cool (entertaining cool, not cool cool). She describes it on her blog.

*I wrote this post to pass on the carma love after Mommy off the Record published her October 25th post about little ole' me, which was in response to Chicky Chicky Baby's suggestion to write about a blogger we love.

Labels: ,

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You can add "loves blogging" to your INFJ description, I think - there are lots and lots of us out here in the blogosphere (HBM, you, me, MOTR, to name a few - Sunshine Scribe is an ENFJ, which is close). Lots of INTJ's as well: Kristen of Home on the Fringe, Mary P., Andrea of Garden of Nna Moy (formerly Beanie Baby), and Mouse.

5:33 AM  
Blogger Andrea said...

Um, how do you know all of this??? :)

6:02 AM  
Blogger KZ said...

aw, you really brought me back. I'm going to surprise you one day and come to colorado (for you and NOT because I just saw the Shining and want to see the resort featured in the exterior shots.) I miss having a gal like you in my physical life although it is amazing to me that through the years and miles you've remained so "familiar" (for lack of a better word) to me. Thanks so much for sharing the love. :)

12:20 PM  
Blogger Andrea said...

I think that's a compliment that I feel "familiar." Thanks! I miss those good times with you and the alcohol...
I can't wait for you to come to Colorado. You can share a room with the kiddos. How's that sound? :)

3:52 PM  
Blogger Radioactive Tori said...

I'm an ENFP is that close enough to join the fun? You blog is so interesting to read. I've been lurking, but thought I would say hi.

5:59 AM  
Blogger Andrea said...

Yes, join us! ENFP is definitely close enough - I think that just makes you more extroverted, and more certain in your moral convictions. Wow, did I just sound like an astrologist or card reader just then?
Thanks so much for the compliment!

8:51 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home